Over the last four years, I have given presentations, led basketball camps, and facilitated group conversations for over two thousand people. In that time, I have learned and tested two approaches that can help frame questions in a way that get the responses you are seeking.
1.) Start Your Questions With “What”
Have you ever wanted more participation from a group that you were speaking to? So you ask the group, “are there any questions? Total silence. “Suddenly,” you could hear a pin drop. You might as well “cue the crickets!” It is definitely painful and awkward to stand in front of an audience and hope that someone asks a question or makes a statement. You feel alone and panicky inside particularly if if no one says anything. You wonder if anyone was listening at all.
However, what if you tried framing the question differently. What if you tried asking,
“what thoughts do you have on this idea?” or “what questions do you have?”
I guarantee this approach will yield more responses.
This is a shift from asking a typical ‘yes or no’ question which tends to limit group participation. When starting the question with “what,” you immediately assume there are questions and this is a great time to ask.
It works like magic. It can be scary to ask questions or make comments, ESPECIALLY in front of an audience because of the fear of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid in front of peers. Knowing that, we must create the space for those questions and comments to be asked and bring intentionality to we ask them.
I started thinking about how I might apply this in other areas of my life and realized it works everywhere. It worked when I was presenting a new idea at work and wanted feedback. It worked when I would deliver directions to a clueless person on the road and thought I might have been confusing in my delivery. It worked in emails I would send to colleagues looking for a response from them.
Try this the next time you are seeking a response from someone and see what works for you.
2.) Start Your Questions With “How”
One of the big problems people have when asking questions is they ask binary questions (yes or no) when they are seeking solutions that yield more than a mere yes or now. Here are a few examples:
- Can I make a million dollars?
- Do you think this gym will help me reach my goals?
- Can I find a job that makes me happy?
Our immediate response to questions like this are yes, no, or maybe. Another way to frame these questions would be to start the question with the word “how.” This allows for a multitude of possible answers. The word “How” puts people into a solution-oriented mindset. As Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split The Difference says, “yes is nothing without how.”
Ask someone “how” and all of the sudden movement is created. “How” creates action.”
With that in mind, let’s reframe the above questions.
- How might I make a million dollars?
- How will this gym help me reach my goals?
- How might I find a job that makes me happy?
Do you see the difference? The first set of questions will always yield yes or no answers. Skip the binary, move right to the “how” question that leads to action and solutions.
This is a call to intentionality in the way we frame our questions. We are all seeking better answers in different areas of our life, so we must ask better questions. Try these two approaches and email me at koszutkj@gmail.com to let me know how they work for you! I’m excited to hear.