I’m Awake, But My Eyes are Closed

I’m awake. But my eyes are closed. 

 

I’m aware, but my body’s not moving. 

I’m deep in thought. 

 

My eyes open for a moment. But I’m not ready to start the day.

No that’s wrong. The day’s already begunI close my eyes.

I’m in a creative zone. It’s where the words you’re reading right now were born.

 

Back to my thoughts. 

“What am I doing? Where is my life going? It’s hot in here. 

My eyes open again, immediately followed by my alarm clock. “Damn that was good timing.” 

 

I’m not ready to get out of bed. Again, I close my eyes. 

Back to my thoughts. 

“What do I have to, no sorry, get to, do today? 

 

Work. 

 

Ahh I love my work. But today, I’m just not feeling it.” 

My alarm goes off. Again, my eyes open. 

 

I hate that treacherous apple default alarm that I haven’t ever changed, but always tell myself I will.

 

I smash the alarm with a feeling of defeat. I stand up. Get dizzy for 3 seconds. Take a few steps toward the bathroom. Use it. Look at the mirror. Tell myself I’m a beast. Go make coffee. Sit down at my kitchen table. Open my laptop. Begin to write. Delete. Write. Edit. Write. Sip coffee. Think. Write. 

And here before you I have accomplished my first win of the day. A short piece about, like seinfeld……nothing

 

One that came to me while I was awake, but my eyes were closed.