Author, entrepreneur, and photographer James Clear, writes a blog that I have found to be very enlightening. His content is well thought out, consistent and inspiring. One specific post he recently published stood out to me. He summarized all the books he read in 2018 and divided them into two parts. First, he summarized the book in three sentences or less. Then, he created a more lengthy summary to provide an even fuller understanding of the book. You can see the blog post here. I especially enjoyed this idea and have decided to do something similar for all of the books I read in 2019.

The first book I completed in 2019 was Building a Storybrand by Donald Miller.

Book Summary in 3 Sentences

To become effective at marketing your business, you must understand how the elements of storytelling play out on a daily basis in your customers minds. Often times, business owners make themselves the hero of the story they tell, where the most effective companies play the role of the guide while making the customer the hero, think Apple, the computer company. When you understand the impact of story and make the customers the hero of that story, you will clarify your message so people actually listen to what you have to say.  

Building a Storybrand Summary

This summary will include what I found to be the key takeaways from the book. I will include quotes and passages from the book as well as my own thoughts.

• Few things are more foundational to a compelling story than the transformation of a hero. Why? Because transformation is a core desire for every human being. That is why so many stories are about the hero being transformed into somebody better. People love movies about characters who transform and they love businesses that help them experience transformation themselves.
• Here is story structure in a nutshell: A character who wants something encounters a problem before they can get it. At the peak of their despair, a guide steps into their lives, gives them a plan and calls them to action. Once called to action, the character now can avoid failure and be a success.
• Create stories that sound like music in a world of constant noise. Don’t make customers burn calories in their mind to figure out what you do. 
• Story is the greatest weapon we have to combat noise and confusion because it organizes information in such a way that people are compelled to listen.
• The more we feature the transformation journey our customers experience, the faster the business will grow.
• Stories teach us that people’s internal desire to resolve a frustration is a greater motivator than a desire to solve an external problem.
• What we think we are saying to our customers and what our customers actually hear are two different things.
• Is your message simple, relevant, and repeatable?
• Be brief, be punchy and remain relevant with your customers.
• If you confuse, you lose.
• Customers want to be a part of a story that helps them survive and thrive.
• The more we talk about the problems our customers experience, the more interest they will have in our brand.
• Show value of a product beyond the product itself. Customers buy a feeling with what they purchase. For example, the product might incite toughness, fearlessness or the ability to solve problems. Click here to watch a great example of that from a commercial (1 minute, 44 seconds long) that Gerber Knives put together.
• People trust those who understand them and they trust brands that understand them too.
• No one takes action and makes major life decisions unless something challenges them to do so. As a brand, you must challenge your customers to take action.
• Brands need to warn their customers about what could happen if they do not buy your products. Every customer is looking at you and asking “so what?” Answer that for them.
• Your customers are human, filled with emotion, driven to transform, and in need of help.  You are not just improving the world through your products and services, you are improving the way customers see themselves.
• Once we know who our customers want to be, we will have language to use in emails, blog posts, and all manner of marketing material. Leaders who care more about change than they do about selling products tend to do a good bit of both.
• People do not read websites, they scan them.
• Within the first five seconds of going to your website, people should learn three things. What you offer, how it will make their life better and what they need to do to take action.
• When people ask you what you do for a living, follow three simple steps to be clear in what you tell them. Tell them about the problem you solve. Tell them how you solve the problem, and lastly let them what life looks like after the problem is solved. Click here for a great video from Donald Miller explaining this structure.
• How will our customers lives look after they engage with us? How will they feel? What does their average day  look like and what kind of new status will they enjoy.
• Define something your customer wants. If you can be the hero’s guide like Yoda to Luke Skywalker, they will likely engage. The guide, not the hero, is the strongest, most steady character in the story.

If you want to do something well, commit to it. Commit to it like Mark Twain wrote novels. Commit to it like Henry Ford manufactured cars. Commit to it like MLK fought for civil rights. Be all in or don’t do it at all. Because even with all the knowledge in the world, a commitment to action is what is going to propel you forward. I recently had an experience where I had to go face to face with commitment.

Last week when I was in Canada, I went ice skating with some friends for the very first time. All I wanted to do was skate around the rink, fit in with the crowd and not fall flat on my face. Essentially, I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing and not some clumsy clown on the ice. However, there was a problem. There were a sea of people on the ice, my skates were a tad bigger than I needed, and I had no idea how to do this whole ice skating thing. As I walked toward the ice rink, I nearly turned my ankle. I never realized how difficult it was to actually walk in ice skates, much less actually get on that slippery, icy surface. In my defense, though, I grew up in Florida. The closest thing I came to Ice skating was accidentally dropping an ice cube out of the freezer and slipping on it.

As I eventually stepped onto the ice and began sliding around, I realized this was indeed going to be as hard as I imagined. As people whizzed around the rink, I hugged the shelter of the rink’s wall. I tried moving my feet on the ice like I do when I am on land but I made very little forward progress. I was afraid to commit to the side-to-side foot motion required to allow you to move forward. It was simple physics according to my pre-skating internet research on “how to ice skate.” Supposedly, you must propel yourself forward by pushing off the ice with a force perpendicular to the skate blade. Since the friction of the blade with the ice is almost zero, this is the only way to propel yourself forward. Knowing this, I thought it would be a piece of cake after getting on the ice. I assure you, there was no cake involved. After all, knowing how to do something and doing it are two different things.  And, at that moment, I was afraid to commit to the doing part.

As I looked around the rink, I saw adults, little kids and senior citizens all skating like olympic champions. At this point, I felt scared, overwhelmed and inadequate. I tried to watch their technique, but it wasn’t enough.

Then, two twelve-year-old boys came skating out of nowhere and stopped next to me. They were wearing full hockey pads, helmets, and each had a hockey stick in their hand. I think they saw the embarrassing struggles I was enduring and simultaneously needed a break. They looked at me and said, “trust your legs. watch this!” And they took off and skated around the rink at high speeds weaving in and out of the scores of skaters. Their message seemed clear. You have to trust yourself, push past fear, and there is a good chance it will work out. Such a simple, yet powerful gesture of coaching from two young kids.

I thought about it for a moment and realized that I either had to commit to it or struggle through the next 45 minutes devoid of any fun. I put aside the fear of falling and started utilizing that perpendicular force I mentioned earlier. It seemed to work because all of a sudden I started skating more like a real skater and less like a clumsy oaf. I was moving quicker than I had before and I figured out how to pick up speed and turn in a very short amount of time. As my confidence began to build, I decided that high speeds were my new goal. About three minutes into that decision, I performed an unintentional 360 degree turn into a squat position. I’m fairly certain that from an outsiders view, it looked like I was attempting to breakdance on the ice. I had fallen. But so what! I got back up and started again. It began to be a ton of fun. A few minutes later I was skating at a good pace around the rink when I looked to my left and noticed the two boys who had been by my side earlier. They nodded at me as if to say, “there you go newbie, well done.”

At that moment, I gained the approval of a couple of twelve year old boys and it felt great. More than that though I felt a sense of accomplishment and jubilation for overcoming a fear and becoming a decent skater.

If you want to do something well, commit to it. Commit to it in your relationships, your work and anything else that you want to have a successful outcome. Like in skating, getting started and moving forward is the hardest part. You must be willing to slip and fall so that you can learn how not to slip and fall. As you know, growth resides outside your comfort zone. You must push past the negative emotions and the fear holding you back to get where you want in life.

If you want to do something well, commit to it. If you do and you stay focused, you will start to see some amazing results like Mark Twain, Henry Ford, Martin Luther King, and most recently I did. Try it!

 

Every year, we have new opportunities and challenges to tackle. As I did my personal year in review for 2018, there were seven things I learned that will launch me into 2019 and might be able to help you as well! Take a look:  

 

1.) If you want to learn about business, start one

I started a business in 2018. You can read about business or take classes on the subject, but actually going through the process is where the real learning happens. I learned how to start an LLC and how to operate the finances for a business. I learned how to create something that people want to buy and how to design a website. I learned that when you first start a new business, you work extremely hard, profit very little, and wish you would have made a few different decisions early on.

If you truly want to learn about business in 2019, start one.

2.) Intermittent fasting is a game-changer

Three months ago, my roommate said, “hey, let’s try something different with our eating, let’s try intermittent fasting (IF).” I was hesitant at first, but then agreed to try it. Overall, It’s been the best change in how I approach nutrition that I’ve ever experienced. I have been doing IF for the past three months and have never felt better. My energy levels are the highest they’ve been and I am building muscle faster than I ever have. There is something else too- I have eradicated the daily feeling that I need an afternoon nap. Now, I eat within an eight hour window which is typically between 10:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. and fast for sixteen hours from 6:00 p.m. through- 10:00 a.m.

I use an app called “Zero” to track my fasting times. The app also contains a bunch of resources that enable you to learn more about intermittent fasting.

If you want to live a healthier lifestyle in 2019, exercise more and try intermittent fasting. But if that doesn’t work for you, try something else. 

3.) Reading books is good, but taking action on what you learn is more important

A lot of us have heard the phrase, knowledge is power. Earlier this year, I heard someone reframe this to: applied knowledge is power. That stuck with me. Now when I read books, I intentionally look for ways to apply the things I am learning. For example, I recently read the book, Atomic Habits by James Clear which is a phenomenal book on the process of habit formation. After finishing the book, I added one new habit to my life.

I wanted to increase my flexibility, so I began stretching two minutes a day. After making this decision, I’ve seen my flexibility improve dramatically over a long period of time.

 

I also use an app called “Habitbull” to track my daily habits. It is a great way to add an additional form of accountability. After all, the greatest distance in the world is the distance between knowing and doing.

If you want to change the world in 2019, apply the knowledge you learn.

4.) Having a consistent morning routine makes the day more effective

My roommate and I developed a consistent approach to our mornings in which we include several core things. We do some form of exercise, a short meditation, cook breakfast, do some light reading or work along with some good music to get our mindset right for the day.

If you want to change the course of your day in 2019, modify your morning to include something that will propel you forward into the day.

5.) When you walk past a stranger, smile and say hello

There are a lot of people in the world who are seeking a glimmer of hope from someone, anyone, that can turn their day around. I’ve worked in a hospital for the last three years, an environment where people are under high stress, little sleep, and looking for anything to make their day better.

If you want to change the world in 2019, start with little decisions like smiling and saying hello when you walk by strangers. You never know the impact that action might have on an individual.

6.) Go on short walks

A short walk has great power to let your mind wander. It is so easy to get caught up sitting at a desk for extended periods of time. Our mind needs a rest and this is a great way to give it one.

There is an added benefit to letting your mind wander,  great ideas will come to you!

If you want to have better ideas and a calm mind in 2019, go on more walks.

7.) Find people with a similar mindset to join your circle of influence

This year, I had a new roommate move in with me. Having him there brought immediate accountability. It became easier to wake up in the morning for a workout. It became easier to eat healthy. It became more fun because of the various conversations I now get to have on a daily basis.

If you want to change the world in 2019, surround yourself with people who are on the same path as you and will push you to be better.

The start of a new year is always an exciting time. It feels like you have a fresh slate to make changes in your life or enhance things that are already thriving. Here is to making 2019 the most impactful year of our lives!

Over the last four years, I have given presentations, led basketball camps, and facilitated group conversations for over two thousand people. In that time, I have learned and tested two approaches that can help frame questions in a way that get the responses you are seeking. 

      1.) Start Your Questions With “What”

Have you ever wanted more participation from a group that you were speaking to? So you ask the group, “are there any questions? Total silence. “Suddenly,” you could hear a pin drop. You might as well “cue the crickets!” It is definitely painful and awkward to stand in front of an audience and hope that someone asks a question or makes a statement. You feel alone and panicky inside particularly if if no one says anything. You wonder if anyone was listening at all.

However, what if you tried framing the question differently. What if you tried asking,

“what thoughts do you have on this idea?”  or “what questions do you have?” 

I guarantee this approach will yield more responses.

This is a shift from asking a typical ‘yes or no’ question which tends to limit group participation. When starting the question with “what,” you immediately assume there are questions and this is a great time to ask.

It works like magic. It can be scary to ask questions or make comments, ESPECIALLY in front of an audience because of the fear of saying the wrong thing or looking stupid in front of peers. Knowing that, we must create the space for those questions and comments to be asked and bring intentionality to we ask them.

I started thinking about how I might apply this in other areas of my life and realized it works everywhere. It worked when I was presenting a new idea at work and wanted feedback. It worked when I would deliver directions to a clueless person on the road and thought I might have been confusing in my delivery. It worked in emails I would send to colleagues looking for a response from them.

Try this the next time you are seeking a response from someone and see what works for you. 

    2.)  Start Your Questions With “How”

One of the big problems people have when asking questions is they ask binary questions (yes or no) when they are seeking solutions that yield more than a mere yes or now. Here are a few examples:

• Can I make a million dollars?
• Do you think this gym will help me reach my goals?
• Can I find a job that makes me happy?

Our immediate response to questions like this are yes, no, or maybe. Another way to frame these questions would be to start the question with the word “how.” This allows for a multitude of possible answers. The word “How” puts people  into a solution-oriented mindset. As Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split The Difference says, “yes is nothing without how.”

Ask someone “how” and all of the sudden movement is created. “How” creates action.”

With that in mind, let’s reframe the above questions.

• How might I make a million dollars?
• How will this gym help me reach my goals?
• How might I find a job that makes me happy?

Do you see the difference? The first set of questions will always yield yes or no answers. Skip the binary, move right to the “how” question that leads to action and solutions.

This is a call to intentionality in the way we frame our questions. We are all seeking better answers in different areas of our life, so we must ask better questions. Try these two approaches and email me at koszutkj@gmail.com to let me know how they work for you! I’m excited to hear.

 

 

 

When preparing for projects, presentations or any type of event, we often do so with what I call the perfect world thinking theory. Everyone will show up on time, all outside variables will cease to exist in the timeframe of your event, and everything will go perfectly according to plan. In reality, this is rarely the case. People show up late, unexpected circumstances arise, and the plan is always disrupted by something. 

I believe there is a way for everyone to think through this inevitable disruption and expand your preparational thinking. Ask yourself this question:

“What might go wrong and how will I approach solving the problem.”

I call this a “plan disruption list.”  This flips your thinking. It immediately forces you to identify gaps in your plan and create contingencies in your mind which leads to greater confidence. Try this! So the next time technology fails, people show up late, or you get a flat tire on the way to a wedding, it might be unexpected for some, but not for you.  

 

During the second semester of my senior year of college, I needed one more class in my schedule in order to graduate. I remember sitting in the university library overwhelmed at the enormous list of possible classes that Rollins College offered.

After twenty minutes of scrolling through that list, there was one class that caught my eye. That class was improv. Improv is short for improvisation and usually has to do with comedy. “Interesting,” I remember thinking. I had watched the show, Whose Line Is It Anyway ( a famous improv comedy show) for a long time, and I had always had an interest in comedy. This class intrigued me and I immediately signed up. What I did not realize was the impact and inspiration that this class would have on my life.

The class was great. It met twice a week for the entire semester. My interest in improv didn’t stop when the class ended. Immediately following graduation, I began taking weekly classes at SAK Comedy Lab, a well-known and top-rated comedy club in downtown Orlando. Over the course of a year and a half, I took multiple classes, I performed on stage in student shows and watched over a hundred improv shows featuring professional improvisers on stage.

I quickly discovered there is so much more to improv than making people laugh. Here are three things improv taught me about being a better communicator in my everyday life.

1.) Say “Yes And” More 

These two words form the foundation for all improv, and frankly, any great collaborative experience. I would venture to guess we have all been around people who say “yes but, or no, but” a lot when ideas are presented to them. This is challenging to work with and a mindset that halts creativity and communication.

 

One huge misconception about “yes and” is that it means you have to agree with everything that is said. That’s not true! “Yes and” means you are hearing and accepting what is being said, suspending judgement, and building off the ideas of others. It is less about agreeing, and more about staying in the conversation to give ideas a chance to breathe. “Yes and” embodies the notion that we cannot do things alone. It is more than two words – it is a mindset to adopt in order to communicate and create new things with others

2.) Become a Master Listener

The last time someone spoke to you, were you already forming the next thing you were going to say or were you truly listening to what was being said in that moment? I tend to fall into the second category. But I continually work on listening to understand instead of listening to respond.

My improv teacher once say to me, “Kyle, LISTEN!!!!! Every single time words come out of your scene partner’s mouth, they are providing you with an offer that you can use to build the scene.” It took me awhile to understand what this meant. Essentially he was saying, stop talking so much. But more than that, he was also suggesting that you have to be tuned into what people are saying so you can use that  “yes and” mindset to build off those ideas and create a really great scene. 

We’ve all heard the old adage, you have two ears and one mouth so that enables you to listen twice as much as speaking. There is so much truth in this, but it is so hard. Ultimately three things happen when you become a master listener.

1. You build empathy with others..
2. Your relationships become stronger.
3. New ideas emerge faster.  

 

 

3.) Tell a Great Story

In one of my first-ever improv scenes, I was playing a man at a grocery store cash register and I was talking about the bread I had in my hand. It was a five minute interaction in which I was speaking with the cashier about the cost of the bread. The scene dragged on and it was boring. That was obvious since half the class was asleep  by the time we finished. Here is the reason why. There was no substance to the scene and essentially, THERE WAS NO STORY!

Story is everything. Since prehistoric times, human beings have told stories. We are wired to understand a story at a deeper level than any other type of communication. We understand what it means for a character to overcome a challenge and transform themselves into the person they have always sought to be.

Back to that bread scene. What if the scene between me and the cashier went something like this? I was running late to the airport to deliver bread to my brother who could not get on a plane without his bread fix. However, I had forgotten to buy the bread the night before, and I overslept the morning after. So this put me in a race against the clock to get to the grocery store before heading to the airport. This was the fourth time this week he had asked me to do something for him, yet I dropped the ball each time. If I don’t get my brother this two foot long baguette, he is going to ostracize me forever. That would make me feel pretty bad.

BOOM! Now, the audience wants to know some answers. Why did I oversleep? Why can’t my brother travel without a bread fix? Why can’t my brother get his own dang bread? With added substance, this has the potential to be an interesting story an audience would want to watch. Wouldn’t you agree? That is the power of story!

After studying improv for three years and performing a few times, I realized a couple things. First, the audience responds best, laughs more, and has a ton of fun when the performers on stage invite the audience in and then engage in a real story. Secondly, people become invested in a story when they believe that the events unfolding on stage might relate to their own life.  

So the next time you have an idea to share or a concept to communicate, implement a story into your delivery. That is the fastest way to invite a listener into the story you are telling and helps the listener build empathy and connection for what you are saying.

If you say “yes and”, become a master listener, and tell a great story, you will be well on your way to becoming a better communicator.